Amber Eats All Big Macs

McDonalds in Iceland are closing down. Amber ate all the Big Macs.

Asteroid Hurtling Towards Amber But Will Probably Miss Because Space Sucks

Watch out Amber, the dark void that is Space has it in for you and is sending an asteroid your way.

Sure, "scientists" are predicting that it'll miss. And it probably will. Those guys don't wear those stupid lame white coats and big dorky glasses for nothing. They are smart.

It's good to know that Space hates Amber as much as we do. Even if their aim sucks.

Reader Emails

As a vital public service we obviously receive a lot of emails. I thought I'll share one of them today. The first is from young Lucy.

Hi, I went near Amber and am now blind. Also my hand seems to be slowly disintegrating. Also, I have a horn growing out of my head. Also, an extra ear. I am mocked at school. Is there some kind of support group I can join?

Well, THAT IS DISGUSTING. I'm sorry Lucy but you should be SHUNNED FROM SOCIETY. Support group? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? What makes you think that you should be in the company of human beings? Lucy, you shall be a poster child for why you should never go anywhere near Amber. You will die alone.

Is Mars far enough? No.

The number one question on mankind's mind is, if I go to Mars will I still be able to smell Amber? Good news. Our comrades in Russia have undertaken the mission to find out the truth. Wouldn't be too hopeful though. Haven't you ever wondered why aliens haven't made contact us with us yet? You can smell her in Alpha Centauri.

Things Not Necessarily That Bad Mr Goff.

Phil Goff says things are getting worse for New Zealand.

At least we got rid of Amber though.