Hidden Messages

Amber has always reminded me of a small, rabid rodent. In fact, I wasn't surprised when I discovered that rearranging the letters of her name will spell: A HAMSTER MOB. It's easy to imagine Amber in the form of a mob of tiny ferocious furballs.

If you're still not convinced, consider the arrangement: A BRAT, ME MOSH. We have often observed Amber doing something spastic, whereby she looks demonically possessed. We resisted the natural urge to call an ambulance when she informed us that she was dancing, which is sometimes called, 'moshing.' This moshing looks like an epileptic fit, only standing up (but Amber thinks she looks really cool). Of course, it goes without saying that she is a brat.

We all know that Amber is on the crack (and suspect her of dealing to children at the local preschool), so this is my absolute favourite. By rearranging the letters of Amber's name, one discovers the hidden message: REHAB AT MOM'S. Is this a hidden chapter of her past, or her plan for the summer? I'd find out, but I don't want to talk to her.

Heavy Thinking

An omniscient being is mystified that we allow Amber to live.

Duck Memorial Day

With the complete failure of humankind to deal with one of the most pressing issues of our times - Amber. The animal kingdom has been forced to pick up the slack - today a flock of ducks attacked Amber.

We must now take a moment of silence for our fallen duck brothers. As during the attack Amber breathed on them - enduring them to a slow painful death.

Hmmmm

When starting this blog, I initially wanted the name ihateamber.blogspot.com but it was already taken. I'm assuming that this person is complaining about the same Amber, and has used this "Bellingham memorial middle school" as a cover to prevent Amber attacks.

If this blog is talking about a different Amber, I have this to say to them: pathetic. Honestly, using the internet in order to settle some silly trivial grudge is just lame. It only stops being lame when you are dealing with someone who is immensely evil. Like Amber. This could be considered a public service really. Fuck, she's evil.

The Average Response To Amber

When Amber walks around town, the average response to her presence is "What happened to your face?". True story.

Photographic Evidence

Finally, proof in pixels that Amber is evil. You can tell by the smile, ya?

Amber's Infulence on Popular Culture

It has long been rumoured that Ricky Gervais based his character David Brent on Amber, he confirmed this today but added that the comparsion was pretty much moot since he made the end project character much more likable than Amber.

"It's like comparing Santa Claus to some really fucking evil dude - that's David Brent to Amber"

If Amber Was an Animal....

She'd be one of those animals that everyone hates. And everyone would want to shoot her. And kill her. Because everyone hates Amber.

She just tripped over.

What a klutz.

Green Shoes?

Oooo! Look at me! My shoes are green! I'm so avant-garde with my green shoes. Wow!

She's short.

She's really short. What's up with that? People shouldn't be allowed to be that short.

And what's with the hair? It's like there's something dead on there.

Amber Invented The Concept of Boy Bands.

Fucking bitch.

Amber = Hitler & Stalin's love child.

We at "I Hate Amber", an independent non-partisan organisation have uncovered evidence that Amber is actually the love child of Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin.

We also believe that she was responsible for lots of people dying and shit when she was a baby. She's just that evil.

Introduction

Amber made fun of me.

So here is the blog on how much I hate Amber.